Thursday, January 6, 2011

King Pink

I arrive at my temporary holiday home to find it shining in the middle of the bed. Large. Pink. A present for me? Nope. It’s Shavonne’s first assignment reviewing sex toys. I hold the toy up and laugh. How the hell is she going to get this jumbo-sized dong into her scared little pussy?

Do something! she pleaded.

So the task was passed on to me. As it happens I was just on my way to shower up for family Christmas dinner, so the timing was perfect. I put on a brave face (more like a giddy smirk) and took the Basix Basix Rubber Works Smoothy Dong in with me.

Attempt No 1. Yelp! I really should have used lube. But I was living out of a suitcase and didn’t have any on me. Next time I go on holidays I’ll be more prepared!

Attempt No 2. Ouch! I like it big but this one is really big. I thought I was a size queen, but maybe I’m more of a size princess…

Attempt No 3. Finally! The rubber dong slides in. Okay. Now to get into it. I’m crouched down to the frog position, hot water pouring down on me and I begin fucking myself gently to get myself warmed up. It feels good. I think about the last guy I fucked, his cock was big and pierced. Mmmph. I start to feel closer to cumming-gspot style, but when my muscles start to try and push out that delicious juice, the dildo is pushed out instead. I have a few good moments, but never successfully ejaculate, then the hot water starts to run out.

Verdict? 5/10. I wouldn’t personally choose this dong, because it’s a little too large and it kinda hurt going in…and not in that good way. Also I don’t normally go with rubber toys for a few reasons; they have an unpleasant odor and makes your pussy smell like rubber instead of deliciousness, they’re porous and therefore harder to clean and not safe to share, and lastly I have had some irritation/itchiness/burning from using them in the past.

On the plus side, this rubber dong did not cause any irritation, perhaps because it’s 100% phthalates free, latex-free and hypoallergenic! I also very much enjoyed the toy aesthetically. Its bright pink color, smooth headless texture and king size made it very easy on the eyes. So girly! I’m oh so excited to get it back home and try it on with my harness! I’ll surely be able to find some cute queers to suck it off for me! Or maybe I’ll fuck some cakes with it! It might not be my dream dildo, but it’ll certainly make a cute accessory!


Tiffany Paige

Check out these other non-vibrating dildos & dongs!

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Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada